Strezzed

I draw myself a lot.

I need to work on stuff for my booth at Summerfest,

But seeing as I have no ambition,

and really like drawing cartoons of myself,

That hasn't quite happened yet.

Oh, Bother.

-Lex

Social....eliteness? {An illustrated guide}

Yesterday I dweebishly finished reading...um...er...Watchmen.... as in..the nerdy superhero graphic novel... And while I was lying in bed last night, I realized just how much of a nerd I have really become, whether or not I actually like to admit it. You see, here's how my brain works.. You see, I'm sitting there in all of my nerdiness, reading none other than...Watchmen.... thinking about watching Muppet Treasure Island and having a Diablo 2 and Doctor Who marathon with my cousin the next day. My brain sees absolutely nothing wrong with this. My brain is drinking a Dr. Pepper while thinking of news items to add to her "The Killers" shrine. There's nothing wrong with that, right?
WRONG. There's a knock on the door. And that knock belongs to coolness. Then my brain goes into hyper-drive. I quickly try to cleanse the nerd. Hide the nerd. PURGE THE NERD!! Because, in all actuality, I'm not even cool enough to be accepted by cool people, and I'm not nerdy enough to be accepted by nerds.

I think the technical term for that is POSER. Which, I admit I am. {And no, not to worry, I wouldn't actually RIP a Doctor Who poster. sheesh. I have respect. }

So, now the nerd is concealed. Sure, my nerdiness has built up gradually over time, but I believe it is only peaking now. If you would have asked me a year ago if I would even come remotely close to reading a graphic novel, you would have been met with the reply "Heavens, no. Do you honestly think I would stoop to that in my fine and cool glory?" Well, kids. Here I am. Reaching new depths of self pity.

Then coolness arrives and I am expected to be cool. People think I'm cool, people expect me to be cool because I'm an "art kid" or whatever. But, honestly, I'm not cool. I'm a nerd that isn't nerdy enough to be accepted by nerds so I try and cover that up to seem cool. Yes, I own the entire series of Invader Zim on dvd and yes I have watched it so many times that I can quote it. precisely. So, when put in a situation where I have to seem socially elite and not like I am interested in uncool things, I stumble. Or just remain really,really quiet and try to put in my two cents like I know what I'm doing. {PS: I don't.}

Naturally, I attempt to hide my nerdy side of the brain that is not really nerdy from the cool side. I try to justify it by telling myself it's okay to read graphic novels and watch muppet treasure island. But NO! IT IS NOT JUSTIFIABLE.

I promise I didn't use to be this way. What have I become?

-Lexi

The Can Jam.

I was recently asked to do the promotional posters for an upcoming Utah Food Bank benefit concert. Are you ready for a post about my artiztick procezz? Here goes.... starting with the original pen sketch.
Levels adjustment and a bit of erasing.
Added some textures after coloring faceless man and his gee-tar {west side story reference... anyone? Bueller?}
Below is my favorite stage of the process... I loved the outcome of the completed digital painting.... I wish I could have kept it that way before adding the text!

And finally....Woo!! Weeks of hard work finally completed! It feels dang good too, kids. Come if you are in the area!!!

-Lex

Congratulations to humiliations.

Today was my first experience group-driving with the instructor for Driver's education.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Driver's ed? It sucked, right? But you all survived and haven't actually put anyone under cardiac arrest with your driving abilities, correct?

Well, that's what I thought too. As long as I don't kill anyone and pay close attention to my sexist, controlling and ultimately terrifying driving instructor, then I will live and get my license and everything will be all right. Wrong. That was definitely the wrong thing to be thinking, seeing the events that shortly followed.

I arrive at 7:00 a.m., only to find that my driving group had been whittled down to me and one other girl. In a car. With said instructor. And I was the one who was first to drive. I should have taken the fact that I didn't know where the car adjustment lever was as a bad sign, {it was actually button controlled electronically. WHAT IS THIS TECHNOLOGY?!?!} but I continued to remain calm and suck up as much as possible, all while not showing my vulnerability.

Ten minutes or so into driving, I was hit by the pressure. I took the turns too slow! I wasn't braking! Slowly, the instructor started to raise his voice more and more over the most petty mistakes: "THREE FOOT AIR CUSHION AND IDENTIFY THE RIGHT-OF-WAY!! How can you not understand that, girl?!?! What kind of stupid excuse is that?!" and many other insults followed, escalating to the point where he was literally yelling at me and I was bawling. I had talked to my dear friend Nicky the week before about it, and she told me an experience that she had with the same instructor in which she was also near-crying, and she just kept telling herself that she could not let this man win.

Today, he won. I showed my vulnerability and he used it to completely crush my defensive wall. He made me pull over and get in the back seat. I honestly have never felt as completely worthless and humiliated as I did today. Luckily, the girl in my group was very sweet and tried to awkwardly tell me that I did a good job. It didn't work, but I tried to remain nice.

Then, when sitting in the back seat, I could not gain my composure. I was so embarrassed and I felt so stupid, and all I could do was pray that I would stop crying.

I have to drive again tomorrow morning. And you know what I'm going to do? Show absolutely no emotion. I'm not going to suck up to him. I don't care anymore. I'm just going in and sit there and listen for instructions and not show any emotion. No more crying again. I'll show him that to me he means nothing, and he can't bring me down again. No sir. {Ironically, that "don't bring me down... BRUCE..." song was playing on the radio while I was having an emotional break down!}

also, this experience is another big red stamp in the "I hate men" book. Needless to say, he is not helping improve his gender's case.

And, since I don't like not including art in my posts, here's a recent self-cartoon on the tablet!

Have fun today, kids. Meanwhile, I'll go roll up into the fetal position in the corner.

-Lex

Graphic Nov: Summer Romance. PART 1

As I was showering this morning, I couldn't help but be reminded of my spicy summer romance. I've been wanting to do a graphic novel of this for months, but I didn't get the ambition until now. So here goes..... my summer love. (in?) Hyperbole and a half style. word.ed.out.

CHANGE OF TEXT COLOR TO DIFFERENTIATE INTRO AND ACTUAL STORY!!!

So I work at a Farmer's Market from June until October every year, right? I know each vendor like the back of my hand. {What they like, what ticks them off, what hand they write with, what they order from Vito, what bread they buy from bread boy, etc.} But never before had I seen one particular vendor until a hot day in August............

The Far-mar was over for the day, and Corn and I were walking back to her car to go home. And that's when I saw him, sitting on a tweedy blanket on a separated piece of grass from the rest of the vendors. I stopped.

He had a sketchbook in his lap, and was surrounded by these wonderful abstract paintings. I couldn't help but gawk from a distance, until I realized that I actually WAS gawking and he actually WAS looking up at me totally being a creep. So, in all actuality, his face looked like this the first time I saw him.

I vowed to Corrin I would go talk to him, and decided to make sure I looked super good before I went and talked to my future man-candy. Unfortunately, I had just spent 7 hours in the hot sun, and have one of the most unobservant sisters in the entire world.

After I got the OK from the sis, I approached the boy.

Me: You do these?

Boy: ......yeah... {HE'S SO SHY AND CUTE AND SHY AND CUUUUUTE!}

Me: They're awesome. You're really good! What did you use?

~~Me (in mind): You're doing great!!! Just keep it cool. Keep it cool. Don't say anything stupid. You like art? Yeah you do. He likes art? Well, obvs! Talk about art and act totally cool even though in the inside you are totally OMIGOSH HIS EEEEEEEEEEYYYYEEEEESSS!! THEY'RE SOOOOOOO PREEEEEEEEETTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!

Boy: Acrylics, mostly.

Me: Really? You do a lot of abstract stuff?

Boy: .... {chuckles awkwardly}.....yeah....

{and this is where I totally lose it.}

Me: Wow. Can I marry you?

Boy: What?.....

~~Me (in mind) : LIBERTY BELL!! CAN YOU READ ME?? ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

Me: {gesturing to sketchbook} So, what are you working on?

Boy: I'm drawing my dog for school.....

Me: What school do you go to? I mean.... you don't have to tell me.. unless you.. I'm not trying to pry...

I end the conversation as soon as I began it, and we give each other one last awkward chuckle before we depart.

I bowed my head in shame and walked away. I ruined the one chance I had been given with the lurpiest, most beautiful boy I had ever seen. Visions of his jaw structure haunted my dreams for nights to come. How could I have been so stupid? It baffled me. For weeks he didn't show up at the market, and I felt myself slowly eating my way into a mental depression, and only Vito's meatball sub could ease the pain of my own doing. I had failed.

Months passed. The summer wore on, and the boy still never showed. That is, until the last week of Farmer's Market, when I decided to make my move...... again.

{end of part 1. Stay tuned!!}

-Lexi

Rantypants.

I'm feeling in the mood to complain about the world right now. Do you know what I dislike more than a thousand burning suns? Senior pictures. Nothing makes me want to vomit more than girls with long curly hair standing in front of an old looking wall flashing their "serious" face.

But you know what's the worst? The "I'm cool and musical and artsy so I'm going to pose with my guitar!" pose. Those drive me up the wall. More than anything.

Do you like my crappily drawn guitar? I sure do.

-Lexi

Ye Olde Graphic Novel : Stiff upper lip, chin up.

So, kiddies. I give you a prehistoric graphic novel based completely on true events {Yes, my teacher is a jerkwad and really did say that.} Crappily colored using 6 great-smelling shades!! Written about a month ago using some obscure tablet program before I learned how to properly use photoshop!! I drew myself wearing a normal outfit just for funsies!! The title of it is a plug for a musical number that my enemy-school is putting on right now that was DANGEROUSLY APPLICABLE TO THE SITUATION!!!!! Click to enlarge!!!

-Lexi

The good ship lollipop

A boat this cool is SURE to be the winner of a raingutter-regatta {?} mutual activity! {Also, it is sideways. Ya'll get to deal with my laziness.}

cha. {self portrait numero dos.}

This is what I look like.

Done with tablet.

Airbrush technique and scratchboard tool.

Just in case you wanted to know.

-Lexi

f a l l

• The nights are getting chillier.


• the leaves are starting to blush.
  
• The 'Pumpkin Smash' smoothie is back at Jamba.


• My grandma sweaters are calling my name from their space bags and storage crates.
  
• Breaking out gloves without fingertips without being pestered.


• Hanging out on the stoop sketching stills when nobody else is home.


• Olive Greens, rusty oranges, and deep auburn's are all the more applicable.


• Listening to Fleet Foxes, Sam's town, and Morrissey.


• Long walks to not necessarily anywhere.


• Taking a lot of pictures of nature even though you aren't a good photographer.


• Apple Cider.


• Writing actually good blog posts.


• The little hairs on my short-sheared neck get to feel the cold for the first time.


• General conference {!}


• Art club. {I'm a dweeb.}
  
• Uke'n cross-legged in the great outdoors.
  
• Autumn water coloring--Dzama style.


• Matty, Ingrid, Band of Horses, 30 rock and strictly global.


• A new sketchbook.


• Possibly teaching myself how to get all Yokoo up in the place.

• Cloudy weather, wet leaves, rain, toasti-toes, Canadian hats and deerstalkers, and having an excuse to dress like a lumber Jane. {See picture above, drawn with tablet for my so-sick ALL GIRL BAND!}

It's just around the corner!

The Adventures of Corrin and Bread Boy. Issue 1

Experimentation on tablet. Based on actual events. Clickity to zoom!!

Self-portrait.

This is my first drawing using my new tablet, and my first experimentation with LEGIT DIGITAL ART. It is of me.

I can already tell that this is going to provide me with insurmountable amounts of entertainment in the near future.....

-Lexi