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Saturday, January 30, 2010

You said the man in the Gabardine suit was a spy...

Hello Kiddies!

How has your week been? Mine has been surprisingly ...... Melancholy?

I don't know, between the singing of the national anthem at a basketball game and the crazy-hectic Geometric Means theorem, I've been busy to say the least.

On Thursday I went to Kim-chi, Kell-bell and Ky-by's house for some math tutoring. I haven't seen any of the forever and it was sooooo goooooood to hang out with them again. AND I got free clothes. Can't argue with that.

Last night my friends and I decided that if I were a character in Pirates of the Carribean I would be that one guy who's eye always falls out.

Huh. Interesting. We have the same amount of hair.


when I was 9 or 10 I had this strange obsession with the Andrew's sisters. I would sit in my room and dance around and it was nice and lovely, like things should be. This is by far my favorite Andrews sister song. Enjoy.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Mother made me.

Okay, okay, okay. So I have been meaning to post about this for pretty much ever, and now I have finally got around to it.
SO excited. I get kind of religious about the olympics. I really can't help it bit they are just so addicting. I get so excited when they come on, it is almost like I am sucked into a different dimension. Which is rather odd, because I am not a sporty person AT ALL. Here is an example of my lack of sportiness:
"Lexi! Leeeeexi!! The superbowl is back on!! Ooh! You just missed the best catch ever!! * mumbles about goals and touchdowns and.... line.............backers... *" - Spectator of sport, most likely sister.
{note to reader: Bah! I smell a Sbemail reference..}
"Oh. Yeah. Well, I'm busy studying about ...*oxidation.....paintings*...... Um...Just..uh, lemme know when that creepy stock-baby is on the telly. *...You know how I love those commercials.....* " - Me
The previous quotes were a brief-rundown of my lack of sportsmanship. And when I say sportsmanship, I mean not being coordinated like that in any sense or showing any interest. I will usually notice stupid things like 'Oooh! That sporty-man is wearing a super-sporty Lacoste winter 2010 collection sport vest! ' I mean really, never watch sports with me. I. Am. Pathetic.
Unless it is baseball.
Or hockey.
Or,(watch how I will now come full circle to the original topic!) The Olympics!
So, during the Olympics, I must warn you that I will probz take a two-week hiatus from posting.

Tracy Feith, orthodontics, and other such things.

I wore a Tracy Feith dress today.

I am changing back to left-aligned posts.

I went to the orthodontist.

I taught a druggie how to sew.

I solved world hunger.

I wrote an award-winning novel about Platupuses.

I made an auto-tune song about butcher shops on my "brother's" i-tod.

I cured cancer.... on accident.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Tim Burton, Harper's Bazaar, October 2009.
Gotta love him.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Nothing rhymes with orange!

At play practice today the narrators had to decide what colors they were. Like, personality wise and such. The other narrators voted me as orange becuase they said I am original and unique and there isn't anyone like me, because, you know, nothing rhymes with orange!
So, other than the fact that I broke a bracket, I had a relatively good day.
Oh hey! Do you like the new picture/layout thing? It is of Andy Warhol and a gal wearing some saddle shoes/oxfords jumping into my brain. Pretty cool,'eh? And yes, I drew the part that is supposed to be my face while sitting in front of a mirror. It is supposed to somewhat look like me. I mean, hey, I even put in the mole that is on my lower eyelid! I do love that mole! (as a friend. You know I don't swing that way when it comes to beauty marks! I am ashamed of you for even thinking such a wretched thought!)
Ditty of the day!


Saturday, January 23, 2010

When the cuss did this fence get here?! BAHA!

Hello beans!
So, last night was CRAZY.
I pretty much gave my friends an hour and a half speech about the Big-bang theory in a Yugoslavian accent. Mind, you, they were all about to pee their pants, while I was simply relaying credibility to the topic. In a Yugoslavian accent.
But the night before that, kiddies, was an entirely different story. My sister, Corn Row, and I went to see my new favorite movie that is not about the Mafia and that is not in French, FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Holy Toledo, I get the chills just typing it in caps! So epic, so amazing. Ash! Kristofferson! And that random song by Petey!
"Petey, you have no musical talent. That's just poor songwriting."
I am a total Wes Anderson fan, and when you combine that with my other loves, Roald Dahl books and George Clooney, you have magic. Sweet magic. New favorite movie, by all means!! Stop-motion animation makes me melt. Literally.
Going to the movie was awesome because I got to go with Corn. I really couldn't ask for a better or more ridiculously awesome sister, I mean really. She's the coolest person I know. Well, that and Seth Merrill. But he's on his mish so he can't read this reference to him. For shame. We listened to Mates of State and Fleet Foxes on our way there, a perfect way to prep for a movie about cute little animals voiced by swanky Oscar winners.
Also, when we were at the movie I look over and see none other than Miss Alison Malan sitting on the row across from me! Ah! I haven't seen her forever by golly! Too bad she left before I could say hello.
This post is very sporadic and messy. I apologize.
After the movie, I walk outside, winds-a-blowing, I feel my head and the headband Marzji gave me for Christmas is gone!! Queue frantic search in pitch-black in the middle of the alleyway behind the theater. I finally found it, thank goodness, but I still was freaking out about it.
So that was my day. On Thursday. I'm a little late. So, sorry.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Fourth term. Duh duh duuuuuhhh.

Problems, dear children, problems are arising...
So today was the first day of fourth term, correct?
Today was the worst day of my schooling career as of yet. (Okay, second worst. First was the day that I was told I might have cancer.)
*awkward silence*
  • I found out that I do not have classes with pretty much any of my friends
  • I am going to fail geometry.
  • I will have to go back to Algebra because of my failings and therefore will feels unintelligent.
  • I accidentally just added an 's' to the word 'feel' in the previous bullet thus making me feel unintelligent prematurely to the legitimate time of occurrence.
  • I found out today that Vestige kind of bailed on me and probably aren't going to print my shirts. (like really guys? Way to crush all of my hopes and dreams in a single time frame.) You couldn't just WAIT till tomorrow to crack the news, now could ya Caleb raincloud!
  • The last part of the previous bullet was ironic and humorous because the guy I 'work' for's name is Caleb.
  • I have a seminary class full of 3/4 of students who are inactive and don't want to be there and are swearin' it up while the seminary teacher is out of the room . They should be struck by lightning for it. It makes me sick.
  • I had rehearsal today after school where I had to sing and I really feel inferior to my other friend that sings it with me. She's so much better and the director totally favorites her.
  • This will probably be the first term in a year and a half that I will not get a 4.0. Which makes me sad. I want that 4.0, darn it!
  • AND the soles of my new shoes that I bought two days ago are already coming off! No wonder they were on sale!! Blast that Urban Outfitters and their irresistible half-priced sneaks!

But...on the bright side,

  • I talked to Marzji via facebook . Literally, if you a having a crummy day, talk to her. She makes you feel about a zillion times better!
  • My mom bought cap'n crunch for the first time in my life, man oh man! What was I missing for the first 14 years of my mortal existence?!?

Random ditty that has been stuck in my head for the day:

Okay, okay, okay. So let me give you the dirt on this song. The White Album is my favorite Beatles' album, smack dab before Revolver, A Hard Day's Night, Sgt. Pepper's lonely Hearts club band and Help. This album is so unique and diverse, I love each and every song almost as much artistically as I do musically. And if you know me, my undying love for the Beatles is more passionate than a thousand burning suns. And if you combine that love with a $30.00 2-disc CD then what you have there folks is mystical wonder. Sheer mystical wonder!!!

This song is a combination with a 1920's/1930's vaudeville smash and the alternate trippiness of the late 1960's Beatles. John sounds really spectacular in this song, and the lyrics are so cute and corny that all together this song just makes me want to grab my saddle shoes, bowler cap, coat and cane and prance into the street doing the Charleston. Or some other sort of era-appropriate jig.

(Note to self: Don't write about the Beatles. You'll keep these poor folks reading for far too long!)

-Lexi Vivienne

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My high, high worried shoes.

Hello Kiddies.
This past week has been really, really drab.
Here are a few highlights of it.
  1. My mom bought name-brand toilet paper. It is really soft.
  2. I realized that the olympics start on my sister's birthday. No opening ceremony watching for me.
  3. I cut my sister's hair yesterday. I tried to make a straight line trim in the back, but ended up cutting off two inches...... looks like I should stick to cutting bangs. Those are FOOLPROOF! (okay. That was a lie.)
  4. My sister and I had a dance party to this song in our living room.

That was it. I had a pretty pathetic week. I am not in the best mood right now, and have become a pretty lazy blogger. I promise I will post something good within the next few days (weeks?)

All my love,


Monday, January 18, 2010

A straight face with misery.

Just look at him. Plaid bomber? Melts my heart.

The man could have had class.

This man could have been somebody.

I think one reason I love Marlon Brando so much is the fact that he did not age gracefully. He got fat and wrinkly, as most celebrities of his era did not. He was so normal. He refused an Oscar to protest for the Native Americans to get more of their land back. Hello?! Is that not awesome?!
Also the fact that he was gorgeous doesn't help.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The only kind of math I'LL ever enjoy.

Marc by Marc Jacobs ready-to-wear collection for Spring 2010

photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

That paint probably took hours to wash off. Good thing those clothes aren't REAL Marc Jacobs!

(P.S: I am in love with this collection. Only Marc has the power to successfully bring back the plaid-plaid-shoulder pad.)

Okay, that's all I'm going to post today. Promise.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I'm that weird girl that sits inside all day taking pictures of her shoes.

Dear Doctor Marten,

I have recently become aware of the outrageous price of your delightful shoes. If I may, I would like to propose to you a recent discovery that has arisen in my knowledge.
Here is a pair of your overpriced shoesies.

photo courtesy of
The price? 120 junior bacon-cheeseburgers!!

Or in other words, for you non-peasant folk that only understand things by using cartoon facial expressions,

photo courtesy of open salon.comAdd Image
Enough said.

I recently came across a bargain on such a similar shoe that I almost had a heart attack. Like, really, I should get the recessionista award of the century....that amazing.
I found these babies for....


Or, in other not-words for you not-peasant folk that only understand things by using cartoon facial expressions,

photo courtesy of Miss Retro Modern

(Just pretend that the tide boxes are shoe boxes.)

Finally!! My tight-waddiness is finally coming to good use!! THE PRACTICALITY!! OH, THE PRACTICALITY..

I would like to have you notice that you have lost one of your once-loyal customers. Muaha!


Lexi Vivienne.

(P.S.: blogger is not letting me post pictures of my converse boots. Karma from not shutting down the computer properly so many times? Probably.)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Felix!! Feeeelix!!

Today was particularly drab.
I performed a song about Gnomes on my ukulele in English.
Yup. That was the highlight of my day.
Have you noticed that you think of all these fantastic things that a horrifically witty that you will post about, but you can never remember them by the time you actually do post? Yeah , well. That happens to me all the time. I can really relate to that.
I decided today that I wear skirts way too much when compared to how often I actually shave my legs. it's a pretty disturbing comparison.
Song of the day: These guys are AWESOME. I love them. This music video is a little weird, but it totally gets cooler as it goes on. They have their faces on baseballs! BASEBALLS, PEOPLE!!!!

Until I think of anything cool to post about,


P.S: Pray for the people in Haiti.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm not being smug, miss. It is just the unfortunate shape of my face.

Oh! Hai Thurr!

Golly, golly, good gracious golly! What an utterly fantastic week that has just passed!!I am utterly ecstatic for the following reasons: (And I'm not feeling nearly as cynical as I usually do!)
( Oh wait. Feeling's gone. BAH! )
  • Today I got an absolutely lovely letter from Marzipan. I love getting mail. It is almost as cool as Mike Mogis' facial hair. Almost, mind you. Almost.
  • This entire week I have actually loved the outfits I wore. All thanks to my new knock-off (drum roll) DOCS!!! Yes! Huzzah! I have been planning a post utterly and completely devoted to them!
  • I got my B- up to an A- in Geometry. Mathematics are extremely difficult for me, but when you are so freaky that you strive for a 4.0, you would appreciate it.
  • I drew for fun for the first time in months. Okay. Maybe not months, but it felt really good to do it just for me. Bahaha!
  • I am type-laughing a lot. Which is odd, since I have not laughed once while writing this post. In fact, I probably look rather smug while writing this. Ironic? Yes.
  • I am studying for my computer-tech end of levels for tomorrow. You should see my notes. They are covered in doodles.
  • I finally listened to the Monsters of Folk cd I got for Christmas. Oh my I am in love. Any beard-folk enthusiast : AKA MARYN. Buy. This . CD.
  • I decided to accept the fact that my New Year's resolution of improving my handwriting is not going to happen. In fact, I believe it is getting progressively worse. Hooray!
  • My sister and I are buying our tickets to go see Vampire Weekend in March. I am sooo stoked .
  • Vampire Weekend's new album legally comes out tomorrow!!! Contra for all!!!!

Which brings us to the Song of the day!:

If you know me well enough you are aware of my deep hatred for Taylor Swift music. Although, I am still in love with this cover! Watch the guy in the lower-right had corner. He is hilarious. (P.s.: Does he look familiar? Oh I think he does you Matches fans, you!!!) These fellas make life complete. {Well, them and Mike Mogis' facial hair.}

All my lovin', I will send to you,

(P.P.S: I think you all got that one you Beatles' fans out there on the World Wide!!)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Nair. 'eh? Tore.

Dear Kiddies,

I AM SO STOKED. I got a lead in the school play. I am a nerd. geeeeeee!

Song of the day:

I found this band a few years ago by watching my favorite local independent friday night music video show. The lead guy's voice is immpresively high, and this music video is AWESOME. It is like a paper-mache party of awesomeness wrapped in old coupons and newspaper clippings. I apologize if the lyrics have some sort of weird innuendo... I don't think they do....

enjoy that while I go eat some ham!


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Zoot Suits: Looking Swanky Since 1919

Hello Beans!
I should probably be telling you all about my audition today for my school's production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, (Note: I am designing the program covers) But since I am lazy and am fond of the 1980's, I will bring forth another topic.

Dear geometry teacher,

As a representer of the student body I believe that we would be much more interested in writing the proof of a triangle after watching this educationally stimulating music video in class.

Does that not make you want to whip out your compass or what?!?



P.S: I want the ability to do that to my hair.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Simple things

My sister gave me some erasers that look like food for Christmas.
And will not use them, becuase they are too realstic looking!
That sushi eraser is looking rather delicious. Perhaps I should go eat some dinner.

Good Heavens, Watson! How the time flies!!

Hello kiddies!

Pleasure of you to stop by!
Guess what everyone? It's a


Wait a second. Oh. Nevermind. I lied. (New Year's resolution: stop lying.)Shall we rewind?
Guess what everyone? It's a

(I am not very good at counting.)

Huzzah! What are some of the inspirational things that you did this decade? I live in a small cardboard box outside of Hooverville and otherwise have no means to communicate with the outside world, so I would absolutely LOVE to hear all the wonderful things that have made your decade swell!

As for me, I have discovered that I really don't like large crowds and that I enjoy a sober Liza Minelli on PBS specials more so than a drunk one. (Either way she is still crazy!) No matter how crazy a person is normally, the person gains 20 billion more crazy points when they are drunk. That, my dear children, is why alchohol and other strong drinks are against the Word of Wisdom.

I hope you all had a wonderful year/decade/New Year's full of good friends and family, 30 Rock marathons, rad outfits that your grandma would be proud of, and all together amazing opportunities!

Let's make this decade the best yet!

(photo courtesy of sammyfromalabammy)

And may all of your wildest dreams come true.