That joke isn't funny anymore.

I ended up not getting surgery today. My mum moved the appointment to the 30th of June due to the fact that I am going to San Francisco is a week.

And school is almost over.

I've spent all this time being so happy that school was actually going to be over and how I'll finally be able to move on to better things, while I should have been focusing on and savoring the last few moments I'll have with all the people I won't be going to school with next year. I regret so many things now. I could have been such a better person, a better friend, to all of them, and now it's too late.

Last night I went to my school's last choir concert for the year. The majority of the ninth grade is in choir, and to see them all there, united once more as a whole, made me so depressed. I'm probably overusing commas too.

It has come to the point where people are making false promises. "Oh, we'll hang out ALL THE TIME this summer!" or "We'll keep in touch and still be friends! Don't worry!". I nod my head and agree, but deep down, I know that things won't be that way. I know that I probably won't even see them anymore. People change. Life happens. We move on. You can say all you want but deep down, you know what will really happen too.

People just change.

I knew that this was going to happen when I made the decision of what school to go to. I knew it, yet I didn't want to believe it. So, now I have to face the truth after denying it for months. My sister warned me of it. And now I truly know what she meant.

This is terribly difficult.

And all I can do is remain optimistic.



This song is exactly how I feel.
xo-Lexi