Letters to life and other non-banal things. #1

Today, I was bored and feelin' sentimental as well as depressed. I decided to write letters to people in my life that I wish I could talk to at that very moment. Back when all of my older pals started doing the "thirty days, thirty letters" blog posts, it made me want to write letters too. But, since I am a dweeb who hates creative barriers, I decided {today} to participate in a different, non-conformist way. This is what happened.

Jerusha-

I know you haven't written me back yet, so I don't want to seem to precocious, but today has been a weird day. A super weird day. I feel so off, so out of the loop. I miss having friends, yet I don't want to go back to the ones I used to have.

I mean, I still care about them, and probably always will, but it just isn't the same anymore. I feel very out of place whenever we hang out, and it seems like the only reason we were ever friends in the first place was because we went to the same school.

I'm so sick of being sad all the time. I seem happy to others, but it's all a facade used to mask my true and stupid feelings. I'm numb. The things people say are starting to get to me, and they never have before. I need a nice long chat, and I don't have anyone to talk to.

I miss you. I miss your songs and your jokes and the fun we used to have. I miss how I could tell you anything and you were still my pal. I miss laughing about our age difference and reassuring ourselves that we were best friends in the pre-existence. I miss your stories, Jerusha, and I want you to come back.

I need you.

-Lexi